South African entrepreneur and Hank-Scorpio-without-the-charisma impersonator Elon Musk has set the internet aflame once again. Tesla’s newest car model is the ‘Cybertruck’, so-called because it is a pickup truck that someone designed on their Nintendo 64:
Is this contraption sports? Saving the world by building a greener future is undeniably a good thing but only perhaps sports; being bold enough to release whatever the hell design you cook up knowing full well that it’ll get shredded is likewise good but missing a certain sportsiness. If it was a sports car, we might be getting somewhere, but, no, Cybertruck is, (at least hypothetically) a truck.
Might our sport evaluation scheme help here?
Aesthetics: Wib wob?
No, it does not help. But … what if we throw rocks at it in order to demonstrate its unbreakable glass windows?
Now we’re getting closer. Throwing rocks at cars is enough of a sport that Astros clubhouse attendants watching this video started searching for trash can lids to bang against the wall. But we’re still not quite there yet.
But I know the answer. Dunks. Dunks will make this a sport. Take it away, Internet:
not for nothing but the smashed windows actually complete the whole “driving my luxury armored command unit through the violent slums to elysium transfer station for my offworld vacation” look in a really pleasing way pic.twitter.com/rmLbCN7F5L
— Max Read (@max_read) November 22, 2019
Feel free to make this even more sports by adding dunks of your own!